Alcohol... No this is not your standard SAT question. God, I can't even remember what they called that part of the test. Here's a stat for you then, I took the SAT's 8 years ago. Ha, I'm sort of old school now. Forgive me then for forgetting what they're called. And I'm rambling anyway.
OK, back to my point... I'm probably gonna get grief for this but this theory is completely 100% man biased and is just my opinion. By the way, I'm thinking about taking my publications to the Tribune for print soon, cause I've been getting feedback from everyone telling me how much they love this section. No idea why, I just babble... Off the point again, sorry back to the issue...
Ladies, what is the deal with your clothing issue??? No, I'm not talking about the style, because trust me I love some of the new styles (i.e. those Paris Hiltonesque Skirts, props!). No, I'm talking about buying an outfit that costs crazy amounts of money like multiple hundreds of dollars, and wearing it once, only to retire it... No comprendo!!! Seriously, why can't you wear that same fancy top again?? I don't understand, it's already been worn once, so now it's so "last season"??? One of those things that we cavemen won't understand I guess. But can I offer my opinion on this???
Yes I will. OK, the conspiracy theory that I've created will all come back to the difference between a girl and a boy. And again I"m talking about the younger generation here, my age group 20's to 30's here... OK, if you're a mid twenties man like me, one of the main factors that you work is so that you can play on the weekends. By play I'm talking about going out, getting crazy (i.e. not sober), usually spending a ton of money on alcohol, and ending up doing something that you can't believe you did the night before. Actually this is probably #1 on the list for why most males need money.
But why is this? 2 Reasons. Ready, number one... Our hope is that by drinking a little bit, we will lessen the non-comfort level of a social setting and be 3 times more likely to talk to the girl wearing that nice new top that she bought today, for tonight and only tonight... ha ha... So messed up i know... But that is what alcohol is there for. Socical Lubrication at its finest. BARTENDERS SELL CONFIDENCE!!! Secondly, if by chance we get rejected by that girl, or never get the courage to talk to her, we can at least be drunk and do something entertaining that you wouldn't do unless you were drunk to amuse your friends. And a close 2 and a half, that damn burrito tastes 5 times better at 3:30 AM when your a handful of drinks in to the wind.
And I'm not saying that girls don't like to go out and do the same thing it's just things are slightly easier for you. Ladies have way more freedom to go out and buy clothes for their enjoyment because they can. Why? Because they drink substantially less than a man, and secondly because they get a lot more free things thrown at them during the course of a social outing. Free drinks from bartenders and other males... More invites to house parties and special occasions that don't cost them anything. All resulting in the ability to go out and buy more nice overpriced clothes. Weird but I think I'm really on to this.. Am I really that off here???
Neither side makes much sense I guess, but again that is just another major difference between girl and boy. All I know is that I can easily go out and spend a hundred dollars at a bar and not be mad, i'll get pissed that I had to spend 40 dollars on a new shirt, but I can be thoroughly satisfied when I make a 4 dollar good-will t-shirt last for 4 years. Because that will allow me to go out both Friday and Saturday. Awesome!!! My personal chaos theory.